Self-Compassion Practice  

hand on heart 

Self-Compassion Practice

Following recent well being Carer Retreats and other training opportunities for carers, the FCAV is acutely aware of the challenges and stresses in everyday life for carers. There are many added complexities of returning to busy lives after COVID 19 lockdowns and increased significant mental health concerns for many adults and children in the Out of Home Care system. 

Kristen Neff is a leading world expert in relation to self-compassion and its benefits to mental health.  

Kristen states that research shows self-compassion has many benefits ranging from fewer depressive and more optimistic thoughts, overall greater happiness and life satisfaction, to greater social and emotional skills and improvements in physical health. Specifically, some positive effects noted by studies are: 

  1. It increases motivation.
  2. It boosts happiness.
  3. It improves body image.
  4. It enhances self-worth.
  5. It fosters resilience.
  6. It reduces mental health problems, including anxiety, depression, and stress.


 Supportive Touch Exercise  

One easy way to care for and comfort yourself when you’re feeling badly is to give yourself supportive touch. Touch activates the care system and the parasympathetic nervous system to help us calm down and feel safe. It may feel awkward or embarrassing at first, but your body doesn’t know that. It just responds to the physical gesture of warmth and care, just as a baby responds to being cuddled in its mother’s arms. Our skin is an incredibly sensitive organ. Research indicates that physical touch releases oxytocin, provides a sense of security, soothes distressing emotions, and calms cardiovascular stress. So why not try it? 

You might like to try putting your hand on your body during difficult periods several times a day for a period of at least a week. 



  • When you notice you’re under stress, take 2-3 deep, satisfying breaths.
  • Gently place your hand over your heart, feeling the gentle pressure and warmth of your hand. If you wish, place both hands on your chest, noticing the difference between one and two hands.
  • Feel the touch of your hand on your chest. If you wish, you could make small circles with your hand on your chest.
  • Feel the natural rising and falling of your chest as you breathe in and as you breathe out.
  • Linger with the feeling for as long as you like.


Some people feel uneasy putting a hand over the heart. Feel free to explore where on your body a gentle touch is actually soothing. Some other possibilities are: 

  • One hand on your cheek
  • Cradling your face in your hands
  • Gently stroking your arms
  • Crossing your arms and giving a gentle squeeze
  • Gently rubbing your chest, or using circular movements
  • Hand on your abdomen
  • One hand on your abdomen and one over heart
  • Cupping one hand in the other in your lap


Hopefully you’ll start to develop the habit of physically comforting yourself when needed, taking full advantage of this surprisingly simple and straightforward way to be kind to ourselves.