Simon Abrahams has been a foster carer for nearly a decade, dedicating weekends to providing respite care for children who need temporary stability and support. “It all started before I met Hamish,” he says, referring to his partner, who is now an accredited carer as well. “At first, Hamish would just help out here and there, but then he got more involved, and now we do this together.”
Working full-time in children’s theatre, Simon has spent years immersed in creative spaces with children and young people. “I love the company of kids and young people,” he explains. “It’s been my life’s work to create art for children and to amplify their voices.” One day, he recalls, he simply logged on, sent an email about fostering, and heard back right away. The rest, as they say, is history.
Simon’s first placement—a distressed 8-year-old boy who spent 10 days with him over Christmas—remains vivid in his memory. “He didn’t have a permanent home, was always on the move, and arrived very dysregulated. It was fascinating how, in just those ten days, he started seeing me as ‘his adult,’ his attachment. It really opened my eyes to the impact we can have, even in short placements,” Simon reflects. “You’re their whole world for that moment, and they become a part of yours.”
Respite care is a mix of highs and lows for Simon. “The younger ones are exhausting but endearing—they can drive you up the wall and then turn around and give you the biggest hug,” he says with a laugh. “Teenagers are another story. They glare at you and don’t hold back. But they’re in tough circumstances, and you remember it’s not their fault.” Simon’s patience has deepened over the years, and he’s learned to be that “role model of forgiveness and reliability,” no matter how challenging the behaviour might be.
Sharing the experience with Hamish has brought the two closer together, and friends have even registered as carers after seeing Simon’s journey. “I love sharing this with people in my life; it’s been transformative for all of us,” he notes. But he has also learned a few hard-won lessons about boundaries. “You have to advocate for yourself. The agency and the department have endless needs, but me being burnt out isn’t helpful to anyone,” he says. Learning to be clear about his capacity has been crucial. “It took a long time to realise I didn’t have to say yes to everything.”
Simon is driven by the impact he can have. “It might sound like a cliché, but knowing I’m making a difference keeps me going. When kids start to trust you and settle in, you can see that shift,” he says. “Even when things go downhill, you feel that maybe, just maybe, they’ll make a better choice down the line because of something they learned with you.”
When asked about changes he’d like to see, Simon doesn’t hold back. “The turnover in Child Protection and the agencies is staggering, and it’s the children who suffer. We’re not doing enough for First Nations children, either. There’s too much separation and not enough support, culturally or otherwise, for these families. We need a complete overhaul,” he insists. For Simon, fostering isn’t just about providing care; it’s about supporting a system that truly works for children. “We can’t keep tinkering around the edges. It’s time for real, sweeping change.”
