Access Visit Guide for Carers
Children in foster care usually continue to see their birth parents in supervised access visits, sometimes daily or several times per week, as part of the care and connection plan issued following the court order. Children and young people can face confusion and stressors in the context of navigating their sense of belonging in two different households.
We know for children in foster care, the relationship between the foster and birth families is an important factor in their overall well being. Research shows it is important for carers to recognise and positively reinforce the importance of contact for children and their birth families.
As a foster carer you play a critical role in cultivating relationships with the birth family when possible, and research shows that having a collaborative relationship with the birth family can help the child to feel less stressed and ultimately develop a more secure attachment (Anderson 2009). When the foster carer has a positive attitude towards the birth family and refrains from passing judgement on them, they are more able to listen to the child’s disappointments and speak positively about the birth parent and this makes a difference. (Morrison, Mishna, Cook & Aitken, 2011).
Simms and Bolden (1991) state that foster parent attitudes to contact has a significant influence on the child's attitude, as well as the way in which contact occurs. Simms and Bolden report that foster carers who were able to empathise with the child’s emotional needs and to feel confident managing difficult behaviours had children with ‘better adjustment patterns.”
Research shows that 25% of foster carers experience challenges with access visits (Austerberry et al., 2013; Murray, Tarren‐Sweeney, & France, 2011). These challenges can range from children’s triggers and behaviour including violence and aggression in extreme cases, both before and after visits. Logistics and relationship challenges are another area of carer difficulty as is the issue of parents not keeping their access visit appointment. Parents not attending a scheduled access visit are among the most stressful for child/ren who have emotionally prepared to see their parents, are let down and can lead to feelings of rejection and not being valued. The emotional and psychological fallout of visits can affect behaviour and carers are then managing and guiding children’s preparation, disappointment or post-access re-traumatisation. (Haight et.al 2002 & Murray 2011). The logistics of access can also impact both children and young people and carers especially for infants where daily access can impact sleep, feeding and overall routine.
As a foster carer you play a critical role in cultivating relationships with the birth family and research shows that having a collaborative relationship with the birth family can help the child to feel less stressed and ultimately develop a more secure attachment (Anderson 2009). When the foster carer has a positive attitude towards the birth family and refrains from passing judgement on them, they are more able to successfully listen to the child’s feelings and guide children through their emotions (Morrison, Mishna, Cook & Aitken, 2011).
Data shows a significant relational issue is birth families themselves tending to feel inferior to the foster carers and that the care plan reflects on their parenting skills and ability to provide care to their children. The stigmatisation that parents experience when they are seen as “bad parents” can affect their interactions with the foster family with interactions informed by feelings of shame, interference and negative judgement. Financial capacity can also be a factor in access attendance as well as location. Where possible a home environment is considered the best, but this is sometimes sacrificed in favour of neutral space or safety. (Kiraly & Humphreys 2015)
Prepare for Access:
Depending on the age and stage of the child it is important to think about what the child may need before, during and after access. A baby will need nappies, formula, spare clothing etc whilst an older child may need a snack, water or packed lunch depending on the time of day. Access visits can be at DFFH office (particularly in the early stages of a court ordered care plan or where there are concerns around safety). Visits can also be facilitated at a park or another public venue and a pattern is often settled on down the track as all parties gain a better understanding of safety and the needs of the child, family and carer.
Considerations for Child's Needs
Clothing: Assess weather and dress accordingly (hat for hot days, coat for cold days).
Food: Identify and avoid trigger foods for meltdowns or hyperactivity.
Hydration: Ensure the child has access to plenty of water.
Preparing for Access Visits
Reassurance: Remind the child of your presence upon their return.
Transportation: Consider accompanying the child to the visit.
Activities and Comfort: Discuss plans with the child. Pack comfort items or activities.
Medication and Emergency Preparedness
Provide necessary medications: Ensure emergency items (e.g. asthma pumps) are packed.
Communication with the Parent
Asking the birth parent questions about what food they like, games they liked to play and what would they like their child to be involved in such as a sporting team, or how they would like the child’s hair cut – this helps the birth parent to feel included and valued.
Consider using a communication book
Keep notes child-focused and brief.
Building a Relationship with the Birth Parent
Acknowledge important dates (birthdays, cultural/religious events).
Facilitate children in creating cards or gifts on significant days.
Share photos of key moments in the child's life.
Medical Updates
Note any medical issues in the communication book.
Keep the parent informed, even if responses are not always well received.
What to Consider after Access:
Another situation we often hear about from carers is challenges in the period when a child returns back to you after access visits. For some children returning to you and a familiar environment can be when they safely present their pent up distress and anxiety and carers can find children’s big emotions or behaviour particulary challenging at this time. Carers often find the emotional fallout from a parent not showing up, or being present but not focused on the child, distressing and triggering for the child.
Challenges Post-Access Visits
Emotional Reactions: Children may exhibit distress and anxiety upon returning.
Carer's Response: Carers may find children's emotions and behaviour challenging.
Emotional Fallout: Absence or lack of focus from the parent can be distressing for the child.
Strategies for Re-Entry
Welcome with affirmations and reassurance.
Plan for re-entry time with a comforting ritual or routine.
Engage in calming activities and conversation depending on the needs of the child eg. playing a ball game in the park, crafts, listening to music or a smiling minds meditation.
Encouraging Communication
Create a safe space for the child to express their feelings.
Normalise and acknowledge the child's emotions.
Setting Future Visits
Mark the next visit on the calendar with the child.
Importance of Regular Visits: Maintain a connection with parents to ground the child's reality.
Self-Care for Carers
Take time to look after your personal well-being.
Reflect and step away from challenging dynamics to avoid burnout.
Take time to do something just for you!
Support Resources
Foster Carers can access Carer Advocates in the Carer Support Team to obtain information, support, advice and advocacy:
FCAV Telephone Support Line: 03 9416 4292 Monday to Friday during office hours
The FCAV also offers the Carer Assistance Program (CAP) which provides free therapeutic support to Victorian Foster Carers, Permanent Carers and Adoptive Families. You can access individual, couple and group therapeutic support which can be booked via FCAV Website:
